We are leaving for vacation next, which should have me jumping for joy, but instead I’ve been sucked into a pretty massive tornado of self-loathing - a “self-shaming shit-storm”, if you will. 🤪 You see, I could tell you all day long that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but that wouldn’t be... Continue Reading →
When I started on this recovery journey I thought the only part of me that needed to change was the part of me that craved alcohol like I craved oxygen. The longer I stay sober, the list of things I need to work on seems to be getting longer and longer each day. You see,... Continue Reading →
I’ve been hesitant to share this one. This one hurts...a lot. And although I would love to tell you that I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me, that wouldn’t be entirely true. Some days I care more than others, but I still fear judgment. I am human, after all. Since I’ve started sharing... Continue Reading →
Life gets busy! Lately, I've been extra busy! My October calendar was FULL! Each day seemed to be filled with appointments, commitments, parties, recovery events/meetings and family gatherings. I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed! I kept wondering when I would ever actually get time to myself to just relax, or cleanup, or write or just...breath!... Continue Reading →
It is not lost on me just how lucky I am to be alive. Recovery takes effort. It’s hard work. It’s scary at first, and uncomfortable, and painful, and some days I just don’t want to do it at all. But I stay, because it works and it is 1,000% worth it. 💜
It’s getting busy in my brain again. I feel a storm coming on, but instead of hail it’s raining ping pong balls inside my head. This might sound ridiculous at first, but can you even imagine? My thoughts, my worries, they bounce around in there for days - ping...ping...ping - It’s a constant barrage of... Continue Reading →
I’ve been feeling like I have writer’s block lately, which is silly because I am not even sure I’ve been putting much effort into writing at all. I’ve been busy and tired and full of excuses. And quite frankly, all this friggin’ self-reflection can be physically and mentally exhausting at times. Other writers have told... Continue Reading →
This was a tough one to stumble upon... I was recently looking back at some of my journal entries from the end of my active addiction. I would sometimes write during my moments of clarity. When I found this particular entry, it brought tears to my eyes. The entry was written just 7 months shy... Continue Reading →
Some days, I am just grateful I made it through. I can experience a range of emotions throughout the day - any one of which could be used as an excuse to drink - and yet somehow I choose not to. It’s a miracle, really. In early recovery, people would tell me that I was... Continue Reading →
