I met a woman once, when I was volunteering in a women’s prison, who had spent the last 15 years of her life as a prostitute in active addiction. She didn’t want to be at my meeting. She was one of the ladies who was required to be there. I could see it on…… Continue reading Carrying the Message
Growing up, society taught me that I should not disclose that I am an alcoholic or an addict; that my addiction is something I should be ashamed of. I heard this message every time someone described someone’s behavior to be that of a “crackhead,” every time someone talked about what a “drunk” someone was or…… Continue reading Breaking the Stigma
Reflecting on what life was like in active addiction, and thanking God I don’t live there anymore. 6:45am… She wakes in the morning, and immediately feels the pain of her head against the pillow. She feels embarrassed, but she doesn’t know why. This is not unusual. She often feels ashamed before she even remembers what happened the…… Continue reading The Lies She Wanted to Hear
I used to spend my Friday nights at parties and nightclubs. I would spend hours getting all dressed up, putting my makeup on and curling my hair. I craved the excitement of finally letting loose (i.e. drinking WAY too much) just as much as I craved attention, because I thought attention meant popularity, beauty meant power and the attraction of…… Continue reading Dear Vanessa
When I finally found recovery, I was consumed with self-pity. I lived in a constant state of “woe is me” and was downright convinced there was not a single individual on this earth who could understand what I was going through, or what I was thinking and feeling. My self-centeredness, which I would come to find…… Continue reading Why Not Me?
Today, I celebrate 3 years living in recovery! There was a time, not too long ago, that I didn’t think I would survive another 3 years, so this milestone is an incredible accomplishment for a once hopeless addict like myself. I am often asked if I am worried about what people will think of me for openly admitting to being…… Continue reading Before You Judge Me