We are leaving for vacation next, which should have me jumping for joy, but instead I’ve been sucked into a pretty massive tornado of self-loathing - a “self-shaming shit-storm”, if you will. 🤪 You see, I could tell you all day long that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but that wouldn’t be... Continue Reading →
I’ve been hesitant to share this one. This one hurts...a lot. And although I would love to tell you that I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me, that wouldn’t be entirely true. Some days I care more than others, but I still fear judgment. I am human, after all. Since I’ve started sharing... Continue Reading →
Life gets busy! Lately, I've been extra busy! My October calendar was FULL! Each day seemed to be filled with appointments, commitments, parties, recovery events/meetings and family gatherings. I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed! I kept wondering when I would ever actually get time to myself to just relax, or cleanup, or write or just...breath!... Continue Reading →
It is not lost on me just how lucky I am to be alive. Recovery takes effort. It’s hard work. It’s scary at first, and uncomfortable, and painful, and some days I just don’t want to do it at all. But I stay, because it works and it is 1,000% worth it. 💜
I’ve been feeling like I have writer’s block lately, which is silly because I am not even sure I’ve been putting much effort into writing at all. I’ve been busy and tired and full of excuses. And quite frankly, all this friggin’ self-reflection can be physically and mentally exhausting at times. Other writers have told... Continue Reading →
This was a tough one to stumble upon... I was recently looking back at some of my journal entries from the end of my active addiction. I would sometimes write during my moments of clarity. When I found this particular entry, it brought tears to my eyes. The entry was written just 7 months shy... Continue Reading →
Some days, I am just grateful I made it through. I can experience a range of emotions throughout the day - any one of which could be used as an excuse to drink - and yet somehow I choose not to. It’s a miracle, really. In early recovery, people would tell me that I was... Continue Reading →
I’ve been thinking about this woman I met while volunteering in prison last night. Her story has stuck with me since the moment I left. It’s devastating, humbling and it was such a stunning reminder of just how cunning, baffling and powerful the disease of addiction is. This woman had over a decade in recovery,... Continue Reading →
“Haven’t you had enough yet?” I can’t even tell you how many times I heard that question while I was in active addiction. Everyone in my life who cared about me had at one point pleaded with me to get help - my daughter, parents, husband, siblings, friends. The list could go on. I knew... Continue Reading →
One of the most important things I've learned in recovery thus far: Throughout my life I have always been reaching for things outside of myself - hoping I would find something that would make me happy. If I could just get that job, the husband, the house, the cars, be prettier, be thinner...THEN I would... Continue Reading →
