I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how this pandemic would have impacted my life if I were still drinking. I’ve ran a thousand different scenarios through my head and each one leads to the same result - I would not have survived this. Isolation is dangerous for those who suffer with substance abuse disorders.... Continue Reading →
Ramblings of a Chronic Worrier
The early morning ramblings of a chronic worrier...it’s exhausting! What exhausts me is when my “inner-me” starts comparing itself to your “outer-you”. Does that make sense? 🤣 Quarantine has been difficult. I miss human connection - eye contact, smiles and the vulnerability of speaking truthfully to someone face to face. I was talking with a... Continue Reading →
I’m Still Here! 🤪
I haven’t written in awhile. I’m sorry for that. Life has been crazy and I’ve honestly just been in a funk for way too long. It’s Friday night, and 6 months ago I would have just left the Milwaukee women’s prison after having a meeting with the ladies there. I would have just shared my... Continue Reading →
When I’m Stuck in a Shame Sh*t Storm
We are leaving for vacation next, which should have me jumping for joy, but instead I’ve been sucked into a pretty massive tornado of self-loathing - a “self-shaming shit-storm”, if you will. 🤪 You see, I could tell you all day long that I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but that wouldn’t be... Continue Reading →
Peeling Back the Layers
I’ve been hesitant to share this one. This one hurts...a lot. And although I would love to tell you that I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me, that wouldn’t be entirely true. Some days I care more than others, but I still fear judgment. I am human, after all. Since I’ve started sharing... Continue Reading →
Busy! Busy! Busy!
Life gets busy! Lately, I've been extra busy! My October calendar was FULL! Each day seemed to be filled with appointments, commitments, parties, recovery events/meetings and family gatherings. I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed! I kept wondering when I would ever actually get time to myself to just relax, or cleanup, or write or just...breath!... Continue Reading →
Celebrating 5 years!
It is not lost on me just how lucky I am to be alive. Recovery takes effort. It’s hard work. It’s scary at first, and uncomfortable, and painful, and some days I just don’t want to do it at all. But I stay, because it works and it is 1,000% worth it. 💜
Writer’s Block
I’ve been feeling like I have writer’s block lately, which is silly because I am not even sure I’ve been putting much effort into writing at all. I’ve been busy and tired and full of excuses. And quite frankly, all this friggin’ self-reflection can be physically and mentally exhausting at times. Other writers have told... Continue Reading →
I Believe in Miracles
Some days, I am just grateful I made it through. I can experience a range of emotions throughout the day - any one of which could be used as an excuse to drink - and yet somehow I choose not to. It’s a miracle, really. In early recovery, people would tell me that I was... Continue Reading →
One Addict Helping Another
I’ve been thinking about this woman I met while volunteering in prison last night. Her story has stuck with me since the moment I left. It’s devastating, humbling and it was such a stunning reminder of just how cunning, baffling and powerful the disease of addiction is. This woman had over a decade in recovery,... Continue Reading →