Mirrors

I used to spend so much time looking at myself in the mirror. Fixing my hair, putting on my makeup. It was all a facade, to mask how I really felt about myself. I couldn't even go to the grocery store without putting makeup on first. I was afraid that I would see someone I... Continue Reading →

Attitude of Gratitude

I was just sitting here, reflecting on all of the things I am thankful for today and I thought I would take the opportunity to share a few things about my life. I try to reflect on the things I am most grateful for on a daily basis. Some days are more difficult than others, and I find myself forcing my... Continue Reading →

Breaking the Stigma

Growing up, society taught me that I should not disclose that I am an alcoholic or an addict; that my addiction is something I should be ashamed of. I heard this message every time someone described someone’s behavior to be that of a “crackhead,” every time someone talked about what a “drunk” someone was or... Continue Reading →

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The Lies She Wanted to Hear

Reflecting on what life was like in active addiction, and thanking God I don't live there anymore. 6:45am… She wakes in the morning, and immediately feels the pain of her head against the pillow. She feels embarrassed, but she doesn’t know why. This is not unusual. She often feels the sting of regret before she even remembers... Continue Reading →

We Can Do Better! 

People have told me I am brave for sharing my story publicly. Women have reached out to me, men too, and praised me for my strength and confidence. They tell me I am courageous. And every time I hear and/or read these words, I can feel the heat rising to my face, and my cheeks... Continue Reading →

Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt! Ugggh! I could probably write an entire book on this topic alone. Let me just start by saying, mommy guilt is the worst! There’s hardly anything that compares to the amount of pressure mothers put on themselves every single day. Most moms will admit to having experienced some form of guilt at one... Continue Reading →

Dear Vanessa

I used to spend my Friday nights at parties and nightclubs. I would spend hours getting all dressed up, putting my makeup on and curling my hair. I craved the excitement of finally letting loose (i.e. drinking WAY too much) just as much as I craved attention, because I thought attention meant popularity, beauty meant power and the attraction of... Continue Reading →

Why Not Me?

When I finally found recovery, I was consumed with self-pity. I lived in a constant state of “woe is me” and was downright convinced there was not a single individual on this earth who could understand what I was going through, or what I was thinking and feeling. My self-centeredness, which I would come to find... Continue Reading →

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