Today, I celebrate 5 years living in recovery! It feels incredible 🙌🏻💜😎🙌🏻
When I started this journey, I didn’t believe I was capable of long-term recovery. I had tried and failed for many years. I was exhausted – physically, mentally, spiritually. The progression of my disease had been slow at first, but at the ripe old age of 30 I had become so addicted to alcohol, I would have rather died than live without it.
I remember exactly where I was on this day 5 years ago. I was passed out in a dirty, dingy motel room, all alone and barely clinging to life. I was awoken by a police officer knocking on the door. As I opened it, I remember thinking, “Sorry, sir. You’ll have to come back later. I’m not dead yet.”
I am so grateful that officer refused to leave me there that day. I was not a lady to him, and it would have been easier for him to just walk away – but he didnt.
It is not lost on me just how lucky I am to be alive. Recovery takes effort. It’s hard work. It’s scary at first, and uncomfortable, and painful, and some days I just don’t want to do it at all. But I stay, because it works and it is 1,000% worth it. 💜
Recovery has given me my life back. It has returned all of the things my addiction stole from me and more. I have mended broken relationships, I have made new friends, I’ve worked hard to repair my marriage and finances and re-build my career. Most importantly, I’ve become the mother I always intended to be to a beautiful daughter that I’m still not quite convinced I deserve. I am loving, honest and present in the lives of those most important to me. 💕
I might have come into recovery kicking and screaming, but the decision to stay was my own. I am so grateful that I found the courage to change. I am so grateful to have the love and support of so many friends and family.
If the past 5 years have taught me anything, it’s that change is possible and hope is powerful – even for someone who was once as lost and broken as I was.
To those who suffer in silence – Do not EVER give up on yourself. There is ALWAYS hope! Recovery is possible! I am living proof! 💜